When I was a small boy, I used to be terrified of death..
I used to pester my dad, about whether everyone in this world would die some time.. And to me in those days, the world meant by parents and grand parents and my toys, which included one wooden bus, one plastic auto rickshaw and a car, which when wound up , would go round and round with blinking lights.. Those were the good old days before the GATT and the multinationals came. And they were the best toys any boy from a small middle class family could really wish for...
Of course my brother was not born then, and it was just me.. And I was too young to learn about the wider, machiavellian world..
My father tried to explain me about why people die.. Why they grow old, just like plants and animals and why they should cease to exist.. At first he tried to explain me about heaven and earth and the magnificent paradise we would go to once we die.. I was not convinced.
To my little mind , paradise was here., with my parents, and grand parents, the wooden bus, auto rickshaw and the car.. So I did not want to go to another place after death, when paradise was just here, all around me..
And then he tried to explain population explosion.. He asked me what it would be like if my great grandpa, their parents and grand parents and their parents and grand parents were alive ( Kunchan Nambiar, Kaalan illaatha kaalam)., and I felt so happy.. The macro economic theories of how you would feed all these people or the break down of basic amenities and agricultural systems in such a society would not find entry in to the mind of a six year old.. To me that would have meant so many people to play with.. My father used to be always busy with his long trips and to my mother , the kitchen was all her life. In such times, the thought of having grand parents and great grandparents and great great and so forth to play with, bought immense joy to any kid..
He then told me one day... " I will tell you one mantra, to stay alive for ever..."
And I wanted to learn that..
He told me to come near and whispered in my ears.. " Om Namo Narayanaya ".,
I was very happy.. Finally I had an answer.. My wishes were granted without needing to summon any of the greatest Gods..
He also told me.. " The mantra itself would not have any effect, unless you use it with at most devotion.. And most of all.. You should be a good boy... Only then it would be useful.."
I think I obeyed him very closely for the next many years, till the reality of life and death and the holy spirit dawned upon me... Until I realized that life is more complicated than worrying about death...
But even then, I did not stop chanting the mantra every day, so many times... " Om Namo Narayanaya".. And the goodness of his words, remained, with me..
It was not because I believed it would protect me from the inevitable. It was more of a belief, a strong faith in some one or something , that we could hold on to , when nothing else worked.. It was just like the strong feeling , that my dad would catch me if I jump, lest I fall.. Not that the God Almighty came around every time when you chanted.. But that belief strengthens our mind, so much, that it helps us succeed, come what may..
When nothing else works, faith does...!
Years later Sid told me one day.. "Will every one die sometime.. ?"
I said "Yes, they do.."
" I don't want to die, and I don't want you to.."
Then I told him, "I'll tell you one mantra , to stay alive forever.."
